Now there’s the best reason of all that I like the number two right here:

On November 2, my birthday, I went to a record store and picked up a Scott Walker album per my friend Karen’s recommendation. She had mailed me a copy of Scott Walker Sings Jacques Brel album and it helped me through some tough days. So after I paid for my purchase, I opened the CD, put it in my walkman and took a stroll along the lake shore. It was overcast and very cold that day, and the first track on it is J’s name; the lyrics about loss struck a chord on my tear gland.

Last week, I picked up a CD called the Johnny Cash Children’s Album. Don’t dismiss it because it’s for kids! the songs were just as good as any mature Johnny Cash songs. First track, Nasty Dan, told the story of a nasty man named Dan who got married with a nasty girl named Pearl. It brought comfort to my heart to hear that no matter how nasty you are you will still find love. But the song also implies that this love doesn’t change the man; he is still as nasty as ever. He just doesn’t bother anyone anymore. It made me think about whether the quest for love is just for refuge and not for transformation.

Second track, One and One Makes Two. In this song, Johnny sang about a man’s need for companion. Here the definition for companion is vague, since it’s a children’s album, it could mean several things. For me it triggers the memories of recent shenanigans with J. It made me sad because it sounded like such a nice and simple thing but I can’t have it. These days it always felt like she thought I’m demanding a great deal, but maybe I am. Maybe the simplest things are the hardest to achieve; people tend to take them for granted.

Now everyone needs somebody to share with, to love and help and care for through and through. And there’s no one I know, whom can share the love alone. It’s a lot nicer when one and one make two.

The album has an awful lot of songs about death, but they’re all very vague. But what affected me most are the songs about love. It goes to prove that even a positive song can make you feel sad. Sad songs are about contexts: I would shed a tear when I hear How Deep Is Your Love. Figure that one out.

Johnny Cash - Nasty Dan
Johnny Cash - One and One Makes Two